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In my current culture, there are NO Mistakes!

  • How many times did you think of your previous decisions as mistakes?

  • How long do you spend ruminating over your "mistakes" wishing you said or reacted differently?

First time I heard that there are no mistakes, I was puzzled. I was in the room with 32 other phenomenal coaches sitting in a circle when Frank uttered those words:

“There are no mistakes!”

I kept going over my mistakes and calling myself on each and every one of them. How about when I was disrespected by my supervisor and yet I stayed and tolerated his actions for years in the same position? How about when I rejected a job offer and instead stayed loyal to a team that later isolated me? Or the time that I told a great friend to stop moaning about not knowing English and go ahead and learn it which resulted in a loss of that friendship altogether? Or when I was fired because of asking for a raise at my illegal position earning $5.25/hr? Or when I rejected the option to get my permanent residency through seeking social asylum by changing my religion which cost me 10 years of hard work, low pay, and not being able to attend brother's wedding?

I always thought, In all those instances I made a mistake and it was my fault! I took a tremendous level of responsibility and guilt for every single decision I made. How could I make such big mistakes? How could I allow myself to impact others lives because of my bad choices?! Even though I had apologized where needed, course corrected when I was faced with similar events, internally I was heavily charged around my “mistakes”.

"I was not good with making decisions!" I said to myself many times. Result? I rarely made decisions... I surrendered my power of choice