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5 Steps to Conflict-Free Parental Visits in Cumulative Cultures!


Do you have family staying with you who comes from a cumulative culture? While you enjoy the quality time, do you dislike having someone living with you 24/7? Do you feel obligated to be nice and respectful but from within you are bubbling with anger and frustration?

Welcome to my world...

My parents visited us for 3 weeks from Iran this September. During their visit, they stayed in our guest room. My 6-year-old son loves these visits because not only he gets extra attention, but also gets few extra ice creams, burgers, candies which in his language means LOVE. He also gets to brag about things he does with grandparents at school. Something he rarely gets to do! The absence of grandparents can be easily overlooked by non-immigrants. However for an immigrant, holidays, birthdays, and special occasions can be somewhat lonely without family and friends they grew up with which makes family visits even more precious...

While these visits are quite exciting for my child, they are quite stressful at my end...While I enjoy these precious moments with people whom I love dearly, I live with 3 people that push my buttons; my Mom, my Dad, and my Son! I feel judged constantly especially around my parenting style, my way of life, and my role in my marriage. As a result, I become more reactive to things done or words said for later to feel guilty and angry with myself.