Are you a perfectionist? Do you interact with one as a manager or a spouse? If so, you want to listen to this special episode of Empowering conversationZ. I delve into distinct types of perfectionism, causes, advantages, and disadvantages, along with many solutions to mitigate the pain for both the perfectionist and one who interacts with a perfectionist regularly. All, according to research!
Here is a glimpse of the podcast.
I am a scientist by nature and culture. I come from a culture that is mostly analytical and constantly searches to improve things. Some believe it's a left-brain dominance. As a result of this trait, I was generally hypercritical of events and the people around me. Who was affected the most? Myself! How? Anything that had to do with my emotion and right brain was a challenge. I lost many close friendships and rarely developed long-term relationships because of my expectations of how it was supposed to be. I was constantly searching to find the right way, right words, right friends, right work that I missed what was the "right" cost me.
I saw more wrong than right!
Did it benefit me? Sometimes yes! I was a great scientist. With less than a decade in science, I authored and co-authored seven publications in different journals and was greatly appreciated as a bench biologist. I was great at what I did. That was when I was paired with the "right" person. A scientist who was authentic, trustworthy, and knowledgeable. One who was kind and generous and could openly communicate his thoughts. I was lucky to find them, and that was GREAT! But in reality, how lucky should you be to only work with such people?
Really lucky! My life took a turn when my boss left. The company restructured, and I was paired with a boss who went against many of my shoulds.
I quit in an agonizing 8 months!
Years later, I see the whole scenario differently!
Balancing right and left brain: Since then, I have come a long way in finding ways to separate analyzing data and judging people for who they are. There is no wrong or right in most scenarios. There are primary differences.
Developing acceptance: I appreciate differences as opportunities for building strength. I only see people for where they are in life and observe keenly to find out where they aspire to go. In our unique paths, we can hold hands if necessary but pushing or pulling is prohibited.
Self-awareness: I continually search to find the critical values challenged in a difficult relationship. Listen to understand and accept to feel peaceful.
Trust: I trust myself and my intuition to guide me more often.
All is because of that one unfit manager!
So in the weirdest way, I am thankful to him.
Leaving my unfit boss shook me to develop a mindset I needed to create.
Knowing what I know now, I would have left in less than a month with less pain and more peace.
Sometimes it's important to ditch your left brain and trust your intuition. To see the signs and say to yourself, I am done. Regardless of your decisions' implications run for your sanity, your peace, and ultimately your confidence. To not judge the other person or yourself because, more often than not, that doesn't help. IT'S NOT YOU, and IT'S NOT THEM! It's just not a fit. At least currently! We are all constantly evolving, so no one can predict what it will be in the future.
Result of using my right brain:
How did taping in my right brain and using my emotions help me? I love deeper, talk more often, have deeper relationships. Most importantly, I am more peaceful with who I am and am more confident! I now choose when to tap into my analytical side or use my emotions! I seek an opportunity in every challenge! I am upbeat instead of being judgmental and critical.
If your analytical side is currently challenging you, take a moment and think about What your current mindset is costing you? How balancing your left brain with your right might help you lead yourself and others?
Feel free to share this article with someone frustrated and stressed due to an overly analytical mindset. Someone whose relationships, confidence and health are being affected. They would appreciate your thoughtfulness... Also make sure to sign up here for posts like this!
by: Mehran Sorourian